Good Morning, Sunshine. It’ll all be over soon.

I lay down with my feet overlapped, my body on its side, my eyes half-open and sleepy-itchy. My hair fell down in greasy waves; my tongue felt sticky and disgusting. A large, nearly-forgotten blanket covered me, making me want to close my nose to the smell of it on my overlapped legs.

An arm hangs over the bed which is so close to the ground anyway; my mind is accepting this experience of waking up as being dreamlike. I have been sick, very sick, so I recall this fact but I don’t know why this person is looking over me like I’m about to be…

Oh God. How sick was I? Or, am I?… I’ve never been in serious danger before, not once, except for when I was unconscious when I was seven or eight from jumping off the bar and how long was that, 5 seconds and then I was well and alive again… Oh God, why do they have a needle?

i hate needles. But, they don’t even hurt so much but, I still don’t like them and I hate having to think about them going into my arm. They’re yucky. How clean is that needle?- it’s so clean and antiseptic it apparently reflects the light from the window in the semi-darkness of this morning. I feel all sort of achey…

My mind feels blank and empty as this premonition of a man or woman bends over with this needle and plunks it into one of my veins, and I feel the aching pain in the crook of my arm where it sweats the most, my body hair rising like an erection…. and her lips move slowly like a reflection in a pool of water, and is it just me or does she say,

Good Morning, Sunshine. It’ll all be over soon.

Wait. Wait… What about my friends? And what about my life? My parents? Where are my parents??

It’ll all be over soon…

That’s what she says- I try to speak, but I feel like there’s something stopping me. Something isn’t quite right... I would feel peaceful. But I can’t. Something’s not right…

All I know next is that blackness surrounds me.

Oh, God. Oh God.    God.